The Wedding

I had no interest in this royal wedding. From the yards of news coverage in the weeks before hand, and from glimpses of overweight women camped out in the streets of Windsor wearing idiotic Union Jack spectacles and silly royal face masks, I got the impression that two rather dull people were about to get wed in circumstances of the utmost vulgarity.  The nuptials were due at 12 noon. As I was going out at 11.30am to a much more important event, life painting in the local community centre, I switched on the TV just to see what was happening in unlucky Windsor.

The patriotic crowds were still there, braying louder than ever and guests were going into St George’s Chapel. After a few moments I found myself fascinated by the lack of fascinators, those minute bits of wire and feathers you used to fix on the side of your head for a huge price, they’d obviously been replaced by brightly coloured satellite dishes and tall vertical feathers. One woman has sporting what looked like her knife block.

Then came George and Mrs Clooney, she in a dress and hat the colour of richest, deepest free-range egg yolk. That was the moment that I hesitated about going out. I sat down again and began celeb spotting and commentator questioning; Posh and Becks arrived, she dressed for a pauper’s funeral, wearing the face of a poisoned shrew. Almost everyone was in couples, but Fergie turned up quite alone, making her usual gauche gestures. None of the BBC reporters mentioned her at all and only pointed out John and Norma Major after they’d gone in.

Princess Beatrice, famous for wearing a loo seat on her head at the last wedding, had fought very shy in a sedate turban. Camilla however had managed to stick a gigantic pink dahlia on her head. I didn’t see them until I returned in the late afternoon and had to wait several hours for the TV high-lights. I had been secretly wondering about the wedding all day and felt watching it would be quite an indulgence; I wasn’t disappointed. It turned out to be the most interesting and entertaining TV event I’ve seen in years, and what I feared might be vulgarity turned out to be more than great fun.

Most viewers were captivated by the black American bishop, Michael Curry, who preached the sermon. He had a fairly simple theme; God is love, but his delivery was a combination of Woody Allen and Frederick Douglas; lively, profound, funny, feisty and forthright; the qualities we so rarely get in English Anglican sermons these days, where clergy usually address their dwindling congregation as if they are speaking to backward five- year olds.

It has been suggested that this infantilism has occurred because Church has become so feminised. Unable to pay the kind of salaries needed by family men, there are so many women vicars now, that the whole culture has changed to the womanly way; touchy feely, kissy huggee and everyone being very sweet to each other, and deeply boring. Their methods have not increased the size of CofE congregations or the amount of religious education in schools. It was sad to think that thousands of people watching probably thought Bishop Curry was from some kind of Pentecostal Church. Many of them were bewildered by his references to fire, never having heard anything about Pentecost, the current church season.

Then there was the musical entertainment, from traditional hymns to the Gospel choir where Karen Gibson, in dusky pink dress, wearing what looked like a silver wig, inspired beautiful singing from the London based Kingdom choir, to a stirring yet subtle arrangement of the 60s hit, ‘Stand by Me.’

It was a day of divine synthesis; the traditional and the contemporary, different races, cultures and most difficult of all, classes. The service had something for everyone, and left me with the question, who was it who decided to invite Bishop Michael, who decided on the music, the young cellist and the gospel choir? I don’t think it was Harry or his new wife. Where is the all controlling intelligence, which can construct royal funerals and weddings even at short notice, with such skill at planning, attention to detail and excellent taste. These events rather than being vulgar, display a high level of education, and why do we never see that kind of brain work in any other area of British life; our railways, road building, the NHS, our state schools?

I remember Princess Diana’s lavish funeral, all done at short notice, how they flew a soprano over from Australia and she learned the music on the way. After the Queen Mother’s funeral, I tried to find out about Scottish pipe band music for the first time after hearing their extraordinary lament. Kate and William’s wedding was also a perfect blend of old and new, with no glaring attempt to modernise and none of the ugly anachronisms of modern culture.

For a couple of hours on a sunny day, the beauty and success of the ceremony gave all of us who watched a new and positive perspective. The bishop was right, all we have to do is increase our level of altruism and obviously everything in the world will be OK. I had one uncharitable reservation. Despite Justin Welby’s love affair with Islam, also known as his ‘interfaith dialogue,’ at the royal wedding there was not a Muslim to be seen. For the first time since Kate and William got wed, we were allowed a truly British, Christian affair. Later on, Twitter there were sneering comments about racist Brexiteers having to put up with a new black member in the royal family, but it was obvious at Windsor, that black and white citizens can get on very well, if they are allowed to, removed from the orbit of those using race as a lever for political discontent.

The service was an undeserved boon to the C. of E. and blew out of the water left-wing, republican malcontents, Scottish nationalists, and all those who think the country is bitterly divided and on the path to perdition. But it really would be very helpful if someone could dig out the brains behind these royal events, nudge them out of their secret, palace offices and force them to take on extra duties in government and all our public services.

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7 Comments on The Wedding

  1. Jane, I did not watch this fake wedding either. Why do you call it a wedding? Surely you ascribe to the 29 or 31 or 39 Articles of your Faith as does our Queen?

  2. Why did the bride, a divorcee, wear white ? It is symbolic and it seems it is also symbolic that it was worn in this occasion, but in a different way,

    When it comes to fine religious services, OK it was not a wedding, but Mrs Thatcher’s funeral was truly memorable.

    I will not forget in a hurry her granddaughter Amanda’s delivery of the ‘Spiritual wickedness in high places’ passage from St Paul.

    The Book of Common Prayer and the King James Version are unbeatable,

    • The King James Version is very good – a literary masterpiece if nothing else. Using the KJV as an example in opposing bilingual education, Miriam “Ma” Ferguson, the first female governor of Texas (c. 1925 – 1935) is reputed to have said: “If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it ought to be good enough for the children of Texas.”

  3. If you thought Saturday’s revoltingly proletarian spectacle wasn’t vulgar, you must have thought that It’s A Royal Knockout was positively aristocratic.

  4. It seemed that the American bishop took the opportunity to do a bit of tele-evangelism as the event was being broadcast to millions around the world. The effect of it was for him to take centre stage rather than the married couple.

    As to the selection of ingredients, the hymn, Lord of All Hopefulness (was He?) was composed by a woman who wasn’t a Christian. The reading was from the Song of Solomon. While this is a love poem, parts of it are about erotic love. This is not the love as defined by Jesus or Paul, tongues of fire or not. And such a crucial definition was absent from the bishop’s sermon (which should have properly been an address).

    And what about love your enemies? Altruism isn’t what either Jesus or Paul were on about. Altruism is still only something we can claim to possess. Taking up your cross is nothing short of dethroning the Self so that Christ can that throne.

    The subtlety of the minds who thought to include the Song in the service might indeed be wondered at, considering some of the descriptions of the two lovers in it.

    The inclusion of a Coptic clergyman was most odd. Do Harry and Meghan have any connections with the Egyptian church? In the absence of Islam perhaps this was the nearest to multifaith that could be decently managed.

  5. I like to think that the presence of a Coptic Priest (possibly the only truly Godly person there) was a sign of sympathy for the merciless persecution by Islam that his Church has undergone .

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