Labour bought its votes with a juicy bribe. An £11 billion supersize milkshake for our spoilt children

We are now going to be led by the young and naive, the most narcissistic section of our society.

Strolling through Oxford with a friend last June we were suddenly assailed by a fat youth with studs on his face who accused us of ruining his life. It took us a moment to realise he was referring to the result of the referendum the day before.

‘Your generation has destroyed our chances,’ he winged. ‘You have ruined my life.’ Before we had chance to reply he’d waddled quickly away. On our way back a young woman passing us, glanced up from her mobile and spat out the ‘C’ word at us.

It was a shock at the time but in the months following our vote to leave the EU most of us have got used to young people blaming the older generation for being better off than they are. Once they accused their grandparents of ‘casual racism’ but from last June to that was added the veniality of owning a home and drawing a pension. Naturally the young want all the goodies right away and they will say their lives are ruined if they are faced with deferred gratification.

Last night, shaped around the very crabbed, aged figure of Jeremy Corbyn that youthful resentment got its revenge.

No minister and no spokesmen are available on BBC Today for the first time in living history, where are they all, talking or shouting at each other, or hiding under a Downing St beds; we have woken up to a different world.

We now have to learn to live with the silky malevolence of Lady Nugent, aka Emily Thornberry, the sinister detachment of John McDonnell and the infantile egotism of Jeremy Corbyn in his role of Pied Piper, leading the youth of Britain to sunny uplands.

The swing to Labour was higher where ever there were kids. There was a 72% turnout of 18-25 year olds. The turnout went up where ever they were, where the turnout was up, Labour profited. Somehow Piper Corbyn’s campaign persuaded them to get out of bed and do something as boring as visiting a polling station even if it was situated inside a church.

Owen Jones, spokesperson for the marching children was cock-a-hoop today.

‘I love this’ he tweeted. ‘Here’s to Britain’s young, you may have changed history.’

This morning he claimed it was the biggest shift in polling since Attlee, ‘an unprecedented surge in support. The young voted in great numbers and the young activists got the vote out.’

Let’s not forget that unlike Attlee, Corbyn lost, his results were worse than in 2010. But let’s not spoil the fairy story and his version does have a grain of truth; Corbyn has galvanised the nation’s slumbering youth, and as Owen said provided, ‘an alternative to a stale policy offer,’ in favour of a new vision from the hard left.

Like many a seducer of youth, Corbyn brought this off by use of a juicy bribe; a gigantic Big Mac & Fries, with supersize milkshake on the side in the form of £11 billion to cut university fees and £30 billion to repudiate student debt, all paid for by their middle class parents through tax.

The real story is of course much more grown up and difficult. ‘The rest of the EU see the UK as foolish and self absorbed,’ said the defeated Nick Clegg sadly as he sloped away.

He was referring to the hard fact that we have to face 27 hostile EU nations in eleven days time in a greatly weakened state, hard Left Soft Brexit. If Clegg and our EU friends view us as enfeebled they are right as we are now going to be led by the young and naive, the most narcissistic section of our society.

Only one man can save the children, and the rest of us from disappearing permanently under the hill – his strange frog face and incipient double chin appeared briefly last night like something beamed in from outer space: ‘It’s not what I wanted to do, but I will return,’ said Nigel Farage.

He’s not in Parliament, he will have to create a grass roots movement of activists similar to Corbyn’s. They will be mainly middle-aged, beer drinking, cynical, worldly wise, not given to gluten free diets and sandal wearing, and they will be tax payers. Like Corbyn and unlike poor wraith like Mrs May, he can do it with charisma and aplomb because he has absolutely nothing to lose.

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9 Comments on Labour bought its votes with a juicy bribe. An £11 billion supersize milkshake for our spoilt children

  1. A splinter group of Labour, formed from his leadership election is called Momentum. This group is comprised of many young, impressionable and under educated people who know far more than most people in the world. During Labour’s last election campaign, an American advertising agency, also of the name Momentum were employed to promote Labour. (Labour Web Page) This particular US agency specialises in infiltrating social sites i.e. Twitter, Facebook etc., grouping people that fit certain criteria together and bombarding them with tailor made advertising.(Momentum Agency Web site) That is how the young people were targeted – by flattery and bribery. It is a grey area legally in the UK, but the law regarding this is far more relaxed in the US.

  2. Small correction, Labour MP Emily Thornberry’s official title is Lady Nugee, by virtue of her marriage to the High Court Judge Sir Christopher Nugee. Famous for her photo of the white van house in Rochester and Strood. This prosecco socialist’s colours are on display here: & Here:
    Just do not mention her title or her BMI.

  3. Whilst I am not sure that Boris Johnson is a true conservative I have just re-discovered a study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin which suggests that narcissists tend to form friendships with other narcissists as a result of certain shared personality traits. If his is true then perhaps Boris, for all his failings, is the person to lead the Conservative party into the next election.

    • His past career history illustrates a person who becomes bored easily. He has either been sacked or lost interest in various positions he has been employed in.

  4. Revolting as today’s young people are, and I see nothing to question in the author’s description of them, it now seems that any party wishing to form a government is going to have to bribe them. Galvanising fat middle-aged blokes like me isn’t going to be an election winner. Who bribes our ‘hoof’ is the question. Farage plays badly with them and won’t succeed.

    • if May is removed and replaced by someone like former Soldier David Davis then the Conservative Party can turn around Corbyn should be sectioned

  5. Compare how the studded fat youth and the mobile phone-using woman would have looked in 1910? In the contrast, you can see what ruin is.

    If anyone had used the c-word I public in 1910 they would have been arrested and fined. This woman has become a criminal in the way that those of her own sex would have thought then.

    The minor Great War poet, May Wedderburn Cannan, part of one of whose poems is quoted by Vera Brittain, and who lived in Oxford, wrote that young people didn’t go to university to protest about what they didn’t like in the world. They would have thought that to do so would have been rude.