Post Brexit Cannibalism warns Department of Food & Waste

18th August 2019 8

Food shortages following a no deal Brexit The public is warned that following a no-deal Brexit, food may be in such short supply that outbreaks of cannibalism are likely Is your neighbour a cannibal ? Signs to watch out for. Excessively long thighbones in their dustbin Blood around the corners of a neigbour’s mouth on leaving home Unusual screams coming … [Read on]

Tory Race: Let me have men about me that are fat.

24th May 2019 28

Three Conservative Prime Ministers have now fallen victim to the schism in Conservative Party over Europe: Thatcher, Cameron and now Mrs May. This is because there are two conservative factions in the House of Commons, elitist and populist. Elitists have no time for the ordinary voter, whom they regard as stupid, fat and uneducated, while populists regard central government as … [Read on]

Ex Hippocrates

10th May 2019 14

If you live in London you will have seen the adverts on the underground for Babylon’s online GP service, ‘GP at Hand’. It offers what every patient (and government health minister) wants, instant access to a GP. Health Secretary Matt Hancock is an enthusiastic customer along with 40,000 other customers. All you have to do is to pick up your … [Read on]

The Magical Thinking of LGBTQ

5th May 2019 9

A woman who calls herself a man can have a baby, but a man who calls himself a woman, unless he were to have a uterus and ovaries transplanted from a genetic woman, cannot. If a man tells you he is a woman or a woman tells you she is a man, the law requires you to act as though … [Read on]

BRINO – The Dance of the Lickspittles

3rd May 2019 9

Following the rejection of both political parties in the recent council elections, Tom Watson (the real leader of the Labour Party) and ‘superglue’ May (superglued into Number 10) will now proceed to the final phase of the Lickspittle’s Dance and agree to Brexit in name only (BRINO). BRINO, on any terms whatsoever, is essential to prevent the coming MEP election … [Read on]

Maoist English: A Dictionary

24th March 2019 26

Discourse. A left wing word that has crawled out of counselling. It implies that there is no such thing as a difference of opinion, all opinions being ‘valid’; left wing ones being more valid than others. Narrative. Suggests there is no such thing as an objective account with a clear conclusion. It implies movement toward a revolutionary objective. Perceived. Things … [Read on]

The Brexit Metronome

16th January 2019 3

MPs asked Mrs May last night to shut her trap about Brexit, but this afternoon she was at it again like the ‘Please Mind the Gap’ announcer at London Undergound’s Waterloo Station. It’s obvious she will never shut up. Apart from the noise and the boredom of listening to her metronomic assertion ‘Brexit means Brexit’ there can be no movement … [Read on]

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