For the few not the many

Remainers waiting on South Western rail platforms shivering for hours for a strike bound train should think twice about voting for Mr Corbyn. If he becomes PM he wants to repeal previous Tory legislation making membership ballots compulsory before a strike and outlawing secondary picketing.

Not only might there be no trains ; under Corbyn bus drivers, school teachers and council workers will be able to go on strike in sympathy. There will be considerable suffering.

Take your average Remain voting banker and his family.

Tarquin is three. August, his sixteen year old sister, relates how her brother will not be able to go to play school because Nanny always comes to collect him on the bus. ‘……..and you know how Mummy hates driving the Bentley because of her migraines. They have got worse recently now the family can’t go skiing at Aspen with the pound at 75 pence to the Euro and 50 cents to the dollar and everybody is stuck in the house together.’

‘It was ok’, August continues, ‘when we had the town house in Chelsea, (remember how Mummy and Daddy used to canvas for Remain?) you could at least get out to Covent Garden for £230 a ticket, but since Corbyn raised the rates on homes worth over £5 million to £50,000 a year they decided to sell and move to a rented farm here in Surrey, while Daddy – he in banking – arranges to ship funds from the family’s blind trust from Luxembourg to Beijing; the Chinese government is very sympathetic over offshore funds and as you know dear Jeremy simply worshipped Mao. Thank God the Heliport at Battersea is open so at least Daddy can get to work.’

‘My older step sister Fatima, is ok. She is working for the Home Office’s new Department of Accelerated Settlement, speeding migrants into Britain. She has an overseas currency allowance of £1050 a month. The rest of us have to do with just £250 since the run on the pound. She is going to take Jocasta, our second, to Magaluf. They should be just able to manage.’

‘All in a good cause. Mumsy says she has never regretted helping to get Corbyn made PM and she is really excited at the thought of canvassing for another referendum and then one on Scotland. ‘

8 Comments on For the few not the many

  1. It’s hard to parody people wishing to remain in the EUrinal, but you did good, Doctor. Best of luck in, what, 4 days? I shall say a prayer for Brexit at the Solemnity Mass tomorrow.

    • johnhenry: Do indeed ask the Virgin to intercede for us while celebrating her conception. A great miracle will be required if we’re to get Brexit, since no party likely to have any MPs elected is in favour of Brexit.

      Barring miraculous intervention on an unprecedented scale, our best hope is that the Extremely-Godless Anti-Brexit Socialist Party will defeat the Even-More-Extremely-Godless Anti-Brexit Socialist Party.

      Pray for the lesser of two very great evils, and hope that one day good will triumph over the various kinds of evil represented by all our political parties.

  2. Thank you for the grim humour.

    Do these odious people still call their children Tarquin and Jocasta? The parents may well be named Tarquin and Jocasta, but to name children after their parents would surely be faintly traditional and therefore monstrously fascist.

    Surely any respectable three-year-old ought to be called Hilary or Evelyn or Vivian, so that he/she can keep the same name after changing genders at the age of six? Or perhaps naming a child at all interferes with its infant human rights, and all children should be registered at birth as Insertnamehere Smith or Jones?

    But the inheritance of surnames is probably nearly as evil as the inheritance of wealth, so it’s best to call your child Insertnamehere Insertnamehere, to avoid all risk of fascism.

    You may think I’m joking, but give it twenty years and you’ll find that calling a child by a name imposed by its parents will earn you a visit from the hatecrime cops. How dare you abuse Tarquin and Jocasta’s innocent children, Mr Editor!

  3. Can I hope that you’ll elucidate that in due course, Niall?
    ___
    oops…I see you’ve just posted a new article about Brexit. Come on, guys! Let’s stampede over and see what Mr McCrae has to say @ Brexit Is Not Leaving – the new thread illustrated by a red pill and a blue pill, which I assume is meant to symbolize the opposite of what it does everywhere else.

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