‘Stand to attention when the teacher enters.’

The Spoiled Child - Meadows

 ‘As you have utterly failed to unify these dark tones how are you now going to manage the half tone correctly?’

‘What are these?’ She rasped. I tried to explain to the art course teacher that in trying to find the correct half tone I’d discovered a second colour which looked better.

‘So now you’ve got two of them?’ she said witheringly. Behind us I could feel discomfort and relief from the other students, after all, if she was having a go at me she wasn’t lambasting them.

It was my second day at a portrait painting summer school, held in one of our public schools. The 18th century building used as a studio matched the traditional methods we were trying to acquire, and the style of teaching.

Perhaps I got on the wrong side of ‘Madame’ our teacher when I asked if she could help me open a bottle of oil. ‘I cannot be bothered with that,’ she snapped, singling me out as a particular idiot. Like most of her eight students I quickly avoided talking to her. If you asked a question you had to be careful that she had finished answering before you added any response. Speak too early and you’d get a sneering, ‘It’s hardly worth my answering you if you insist on speaking at the same time.’

I also heard her say, ‘I explained that to you on the first day!’ She was decidedly of the, ‘I will say this only once,’ school, which certainly focussed the mind. Throughout the week we slogged away in the studio, curtains half drawn to preserve an even northern light. At lunch times we commiserated, ‘Don’t worry, she says that to everyone,’ ‘Did you hear what she said to X?’ 

We’d laugh, somewhat uneasily. It wasn’t pleasant but we all recognised, even those almost too scared to put any paint down at all, how much Madame knew, and how much we were learning from her. Techniques were hammered into us from 9am until late afternoon, and no one was ever late back from lunch.

Madame was one of the old- style teacher, some of us remember from the 1960s, almost all gone from state schools by the 80’s, obsessively in love with their subject. Their only aim was to impart that precious knowledge to their pupils. They had no other job, certainly not pedagogical concerns. Any weaknesses, mental of physical, had to be left outside the classroom door. Throughout the week Madame never uttered a word of encouragement.

It’s amusing and a bit bizarre to think that you only get this type of teaching now in adult education. Children get none of it. The NUT recently recommended use of, ‘positive affirmation’ at all times, and warning teachers to, ‘avoid sarcasm at all costs.’

Our accommodation was in the school and the impression left by the absent scholars was one of fragility. The rooms were hot as only one tiny window could be opened in case a child defenestrated itself. In the canteen we were not allowed any fruit juice as it rots youthful teeth. In the communal kitchen a chart showed photos of youthful faces. It’s rare to see any photos of school-children these days as endless permission has to be sought to take them, but these were the faces of pupils with allergies; peanut, wheat, mustard, milk, soya nuts, eggs.

It was more like a convalescent home than a school, and I was reminded of a very different era last week, listening to Jimmy Edwards, in ‘Wack-O!’ on BBC Radio 4 Extra. An episode first heard in 1961.  Edwards, the irascible Headmaster has been summoned to court after being reported by a boy for excessive use of corporal punishment. For a pupil to do that was considered hilarious and preposterous, and the beleaguered Headmaster finds himself in a world of, ‘conniving school boys and dim coppers.’

Reference was made to another case brought to court after a boy received eight strokes of the cane ‘for persistent slacking.’

‘Eight? I don’t start counting until I get to double figures,’ counters Edwards.

That kind of banter, probably now illegal from any teacher, was the cheerful side of a world which could be very dark. In the marble foyer of the school a photo from 1948 showed boys lined up before the headmaster, looking terrified. One of them was standing to attention. I’m not asking for a return to that world of deference which often amounted to cringing fear, but to have abolished all of that vertical culture it in favour of horizontal ‘child-centredness’ has not benefited us educationally and children are hardly any happier.

Other countries have managed to maintain a healthy respect for teachers, and schools would surely benefit from a return to real education reflecting the real world out there; learning without kindness, provided by a variety of teachers, some friendly some not. The criteria for employing teachers should be their passion for knowledge.

I was satisfied with the painting I took home. Friends say it is the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s not exactly the way I want to paint; too refined and inexpressive for my taste, but the techniques I’ve learned are extremely valuable. I have reached another level in my skill as a painter which is exactly what I wanted. The idea that teachers have to be agreeable and empathetic is mistaken, sometimes we need scathing tyrants to keep us on our toes, or to use a neologism; push us out of our comfort zone.  What worthwhile, creative thing, apart from sex, was ever achieved in comfort?

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4 Comments on ‘Stand to attention when the teacher enters.’

  1. I had committed some misdemeanour in the late 50s and got sent to the headmaster‘s office .
    I knocked on the door and heard some shuffling inside and eventually heard the headmaster say come in.
    When he saw me the headmaster was not happy .
    Was that you knocking on the door he asked ,I said yes sir.
    He gave me 3 strokes of the cane for knocking on his door importantly.

  2. I used teach post-graduate degrees to overseas students including many teachers from African and Arab countries.
    When they learned the subtle and biopsychosocial understandings and strategies British teachers use with troubled and troublesome youngsters there was sometimes the comment ‘That’s all very interesting sir, but in my country we would just whip them.’
    Before we get too nostalgic, take a look at what sort of citizens and pernicious societies so many of those countries produce.

  3. Students and teachers both need to be docile, students to learn and obey and teachers to patiently deal with the obstacles to learning particular to each student. The aim is to bring the student into act as a knower. I don’t think the art instructor really was doing that in the best way. Her students were not undocile. Even if they had been, her methods and manner were inappropriate, and a kind of obverse of the smart-aleck pupil. Gentleness in justice is required even in discipline. It produces the best learning and the strongest character.

    Doce me disciplinam et scientiam et bonitatem.

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